As you know, the Church of Dim and The Two Ricks podcast have been targeted by the most heinous, spiteful, dangerous, volatile, and frightening group of haters: Christians. But not just any Christians, we are being harassed by the infamous Eastboro Baptist Church (picture below).
They hate us for our beliefs; they hate us for our unwavering faith; and they hate us because we only have 8% tithing and a kick-ass goddess, Mother Protozoa. Sure she is just a microscopic, worm-like parasite, but she has a very sweet disposition. She is also never judgmental and allows her followers to engage in unlimited debauchery.
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Prayed to the Holy Amoeba today – totally forgave every sin I’ve ever committed. That’s a pretty sweet deal – no guilt, no regrets, just do whatever you want and then ask for forgiveness. No wonder that Christianity nonsense took off so quickly.
In every religion there is a common, fundamental, and truly flawed position held in their doctrines: the assumed superiority of human beings. We, at the Church of Dim, are not so near-sighted.
The CoD certainly recognizes and celebrates enlightened human spirits, such as Saint Sobchak and Prophet George Carlin (praise be), yet we believe in the inherent inferiority of man. In the race of humans, we have all lost – we have created war and guns and Justin Bieber and potato chips flavored like Chicken & Waffles. Enough is enough.
It is time that humans reverse course and devolve so that we may eventually slither back into slimy marshes and allow a new species to take the throne as kings of the food chain. We at the CoD prefer to think of the new alpha species as a massive, eagle-like creature with a grizzly bear head, razor wings, laser eyes, sword like talons, a flame-throwing anus, and a 340 I.Q. But the laser eyes part is pure speculation.