Oh mighty Protozoa…

Today I pray to thee that Paula Deen’s new show be named “Home-cookin’ in Harlem,” a live cooking show on the street which has a studio audience of 300 African-Americans who just heard her wish to have a dinner party, and…  “Well, what I would really like is a bunch of little niggers to wear long-sleeved white shirts, black shorts and black bow-ties, you know, in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around. That would be a true Southern wedding. But we can’t do that because the media would be on me about that.”

Home-Cookin’ in Harlem – coming to pay-per-view soon…

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More wisdom from Mother Protozoa

“The pen is mightier than the sword… unless you’re in a sword fight. Then you’re screwed, mate.” ~Mother P

“A rolling stone gathers no moss… just liver spots and a coke addiction.” ~Mother P

“Two wrongs don’t make a right…but 4 lefts will put you back where you were.” ~Mother P

“When the going gets tough… it’s usually better to just quit and start a drinking habit.” ~Mother P

“No man is an island… but Raymond Burr came pretty damn close.” ~Mother P

“People in glass houses… probably spend a butt-load on curtains.” ~Mother P

“Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst… because the worst will always happen. ALWAYS.” ~Mother P

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer… because have you seen how hot your enemies are?” ~Mother P

“God helps those who help themselves… but since God doesn’t exist, you may wanna take care of that thing yourself.” ~Mother P

Party Like a Parasite!

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Hello Fellow Dimoebians!
So many of you have asked the restrictions The New Church of Dim puts on partying.  The answer to that would, of course, be… none.  In fact, partying is not only encouraged, but required under the as-of-now-unwritten 88 Commandments (praise be).  For every drink drunk, and every sticky smoked, we are closer than ever to our Holy Protozoa.  Perhaps even you will have a vision that will contribute to our growing new religion.  DOWN WITH PEOPLE – UP WITH AMOEBA!