“Grow a Sense of Humor” Playlist by Brother Yates

“Grow a Sense of Humor” Playlist (10 Sept. 2015)
Approx. 41 minutes

People take it all too seriously. I don’t. However, if you don’t think these songs are funny, then there is clearly something wrong with you and you will need to spend some time in one of our Church of Dim “Appreciation Camps.” You are being monitored, and a few—helpers—will be by to collect you, if you should decide to push the “skip” button… (Fair warning!)

—Brother Yates

Weird Al Yankovic – “I Love Rocky Road”
The Dead Milkmen – “Don’t Deny Your Inner Child”
mc chris – “Let Me In”
Frank Zappa feat. Moon Unit Zappa – “Valley Girl”
Tim Wilson – “First Baptist Bar & Grill”
The Vandals – “Clowns are Experts”
Denis Leary – “Traditional Irish Folk Song”
The Moog Cookbook – “Hotel California”
Tiny Tim – “Ever Since You Told Me You Loved Me (I’m a Nut)”
They Might Be Giants – “She’s an Angel”
Bad Brains – “Just Another Damn Song (Black Dots Vers.)”
Wild Man Fischer with Mark Mothersbaugh – “The Way We Were”
ShiSho – “Rocks N Penalties”
Supreme Bunny Warlord with MC Spoiler – “Walkin’ Down the Street”

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“It’s All Lies!” by Brother Amoeba

We have just been informed that an “alternative news source,” The Henpeck Observer, has posted false claims that The New Church of Dim is under federal investigation for several legal violations. This is, of course, not only slanderous, but patently ridiculous. Fear not,
Dimmers, we have not gone to the dark side of the Petri-dish. Mr. Centipede, and his nasty little publication, are full of human bologna! Keep the Protozoan Faith!

—Brother Amoeba

More wisdom from Mother Protozoa

“The pen is mightier than the sword… unless you’re in a sword fight. Then you’re screwed, mate.” ~Mother P

“A rolling stone gathers no moss… just liver spots and a coke addiction.” ~Mother P

“Two wrongs don’t make a right…but 4 lefts will put you back where you were.” ~Mother P

“When the going gets tough… it’s usually better to just quit and start a drinking habit.” ~Mother P

“No man is an island… but Raymond Burr came pretty damn close.” ~Mother P

“People in glass houses… probably spend a butt-load on curtains.” ~Mother P

“Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst… because the worst will always happen. ALWAYS.” ~Mother P

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer… because have you seen how hot your enemies are?” ~Mother P

“God helps those who help themselves… but since God doesn’t exist, you may wanna take care of that thing yourself.” ~Mother P

More Trouble from the Eastboro Baptistas!

To all Dimericans:

As you know, the Church of Dim and The Two Ricks podcast have been targeted by the most heinous, spiteful, dangerous, volatile, and frightening group of haters: Christians.  But not just any Christians, we are being harassed by the infamous Eastboro Baptist Church (picture below).

They hate us for our beliefs; they hate us for our unwavering faith; and they hate us because we only have 8% tithing and a kick-ass goddess, Mother Protozoa.  Sure she is just a microscopic, worm-like parasite, but she has a very sweet disposition.  She is also never judgmental and allows her followers to engage in unlimited debauchery.

We need your support now more than ever, so join us today.

Praise be the Amoeba.

The Church of Dim

COD1 (1)

Party Like a Parasite!

Untitled

 

Hello Fellow Dimoebians!
So many of you have asked the restrictions The New Church of Dim puts on partying.  The answer to that would, of course, be… none.  In fact, partying is not only encouraged, but required under the as-of-now-unwritten 88 Commandments (praise be).  For every drink drunk, and every sticky smoked, we are closer than ever to our Holy Protozoa.  Perhaps even you will have a vision that will contribute to our growing new religion.  DOWN WITH PEOPLE – UP WITH AMOEBA!

“Need a Toe?” by Brother Amoeba

Need a toe? We can get you one by 3 o’clock, with nail polish!

HAPPY ST. SOBCHAK’S DAY!!!

Hopefully you took the day off of work (this is a religious holiday, after all) so you can chuck your dirty undies out of a car window and drink copious amounts of alcohol! Today we celebrate our Vietnam buddies and the sacrifices they made, and we’ll need to go roll a few games of bowling! It’s a wonderful holiday that reminds us that life has gutters and spares, that everything does have something to do with Vietnam, and that dirty undies are just as fun to throw out of car windows as anything else can be, even if they are just the ringer!

Praise be to Mother Protozoan for allowing the Cohen Brothers to create our favorite saint!

—Brother Amoeba

The Two Ricks and The Neon Apocalypse – Episode 5

Episode 5.

Yes, Children of Dim, it’s time for a new episode of your favorite religious comedy show, The Two Ricks and The Neon Apocalypse! Blessed be the Great Amoeboid Mother! Click on the link above to listen and absorb the dimness! (One tiny little note: this show was recorded before we announced our new God: the entire genus, Protozoa. We are not precognitive. We are barely cognitive, being human, so bare with us on this one. We still think it’s pretty funny!)

—Richard Y.