Cleansed, yo

Prayed to the Holy Amoeba today – totally forgave every sin I’ve ever committed.  That’s a pretty sweet deal – no guilt, no regrets, just do whatever you want and then ask for forgiveness.  No wonder that Christianity nonsense took off so quickly.

Brb – off to do something morally questionable…

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The Announcement you’ve been waiting for – bless us, every one!

Greetings, Fellow Dimmers,

It is a great day for The New Church of Dim and its members.  We have waited many weeks for a vision to enlighten us as to our (and your) one, true God.

The time has come, brothers and sisters – our God has been revealed.  And unlike other religions which would have you believe that simply because we are human, that the savior must be in the same image, we are very proud to share this Earth-shattering news:

Almighty God is the Genus, Protozoan.  Be humbled in Her presence, followers, for Mother Protozoa is all around us.  She has been there with us since the beginning – at the origin of all species.  Let Mother Protozoa’s love enter you and touch your heart.

But not literally, dear ones, because She can also give you a nasty bacterial infection.

Bow to Her power.

Spread the news on this joyous day.

The Church of Dim.