The New Church of Dim does not believe in a “soul” for humans (except, perhaps, in a metaphorical sense, in which case “selling your soul” would mean “doing something REALLY shitty.”) The New C.o.D. does, however, believe in a literal, physical afterlife—for which we are now selling tickets!
Extremely fancy “box seats” for the event are still available. Credit and debit cards accepted. No limit on the number of tickets that you can buy at a time. Make sure to get enough for your whole family! Don’t want Grandma Mabel or Uncle Owen sitting outside The Afterlife when the party gets started!
The END is coming soon, and what happens AFTER the end is going to be quite a show. Don’t miss it! Buy those tickets TODAY (before it’s too late!)
Today I pray to thee that Paula Deen’s new show be named “Home-cookin’ in Harlem,” a live cooking show on the street which has a studio audience of 300 African-Americans who just heard her wish to have a dinner party, and… “Well, what I would really like is a bunch of little niggers to wear long-sleeved white shirts, black shorts and black bow-ties, you know, in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around. That would be a true Southern wedding. But we can’t do that because the media would be on me about that.”
Home-Cookin’ in Harlem – coming to pay-per-view soon…
As you know, the Church of Dim and The Two Ricks podcast have been targeted by the most heinous, spiteful, dangerous, volatile, and frightening group of haters: Christians. But not just any Christians, we are being harassed by the infamous Eastboro Baptist Church (picture below).
They hate us for our beliefs; they hate us for our unwavering faith; and they hate us because we only have 8% tithing and a kick-ass goddess, Mother Protozoa. Sure she is just a microscopic, worm-like parasite, but she has a very sweet disposition. She is also never judgmental and allows her followers to engage in unlimited debauchery.
We need your support now more than ever, so join us today.