Last night, Mother Protozoa came to me in a dream and spoke. She mostly talked about how disappointed She was in me, generally, as a human being and an entitled loser (that took like 20 minutes), BUT She also revealed a prophecy – I wrote it down verbatim so I wouldn’t forget:
“In the human calendar year 2000 and 17, to the north and west, Brothers Yates, Erdahl, and O’Brien shall quit their jobs, leave their families, and form a band. It shall be a tribute band to a group from the 1900 and 80s. However, they will verily suck, REALLY verily, so sayeth the Holy Serpent; therefore, this tribute band shall play only for free drinks, and they will call themselves… Tears for Beers.”
I will keep you updated with any further prophecies from our Lord Mother!