“The Book of Genocide” by Brother Noompsey

[The following piece is a non-canonical, apocryphal text sometimes associated with the early Mimetic Sect of the Church of Dim. It is presented here for educational purposes.]

The Book of Genocide

as Recorded from God by Brother Noompsey of the Order

of the Faithful Animal Propagation of Philosophy and Mimesis, OBE.

1. Verily, it came to pass that the world

Created by a divine and bene-

Volent Creator stood in the lone cosmos

A singularity of creatures and man

Living in peaceful bliss.

2. Man and mega-lizard, cat and dog

Living together as one, a Panagea of peace.

But, as time went lazily down the garden path

Of insouciance, man soon got really bored.

2a. Tranquility and Relaxing Cool jazz

Really grated on his nerves.

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Episode 7

Episode 7.

Here it is, the episode you’ve all been waiting for! It contains many content items and humorous things (I’m pretty sure. We were REALLY drunk when we recorded this, so neither of us actually remembers what we said, but I’m sure it’s very funny!)

Born to Boogie

—Richard Y.

More wisdom from Mother Protozoa

“The pen is mightier than the sword… unless you’re in a sword fight. Then you’re screwed, mate.” ~Mother P

“A rolling stone gathers no moss… just liver spots and a coke addiction.” ~Mother P

“Two wrongs don’t make a right…but 4 lefts will put you back where you were.” ~Mother P

“When the going gets tough… it’s usually better to just quit and start a drinking habit.” ~Mother P

“No man is an island… but Raymond Burr came pretty damn close.” ~Mother P

“People in glass houses… probably spend a butt-load on curtains.” ~Mother P

“Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst… because the worst will always happen. ALWAYS.” ~Mother P

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer… because have you seen how hot your enemies are?” ~Mother P

“God helps those who help themselves… but since God doesn’t exist, you may wanna take care of that thing yourself.” ~Mother P

More Trouble from the Eastboro Baptistas!

To all Dimericans:

As you know, the Church of Dim and The Two Ricks podcast have been targeted by the most heinous, spiteful, dangerous, volatile, and frightening group of haters: Christians.  But not just any Christians, we are being harassed by the infamous Eastboro Baptist Church (picture below).

They hate us for our beliefs; they hate us for our unwavering faith; and they hate us because we only have 8% tithing and a kick-ass goddess, Mother Protozoa.  Sure she is just a microscopic, worm-like parasite, but she has a very sweet disposition.  She is also never judgmental and allows her followers to engage in unlimited debauchery.

We need your support now more than ever, so join us today.

Praise be the Amoeba.

The Church of Dim

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