More wisdom from Mother Protozoa

“The pen is mightier than the sword… unless you’re in a sword fight. Then you’re screwed, mate.” ~Mother P

“A rolling stone gathers no moss… just liver spots and a coke addiction.” ~Mother P

“Two wrongs don’t make a right…but 4 lefts will put you back where you were.” ~Mother P

“When the going gets tough… it’s usually better to just quit and start a drinking habit.” ~Mother P

“No man is an island… but Raymond Burr came pretty damn close.” ~Mother P

“People in glass houses… probably spend a butt-load on curtains.” ~Mother P

“Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst… because the worst will always happen. ALWAYS.” ~Mother P

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer… because have you seen how hot your enemies are?” ~Mother P

“God helps those who help themselves… but since God doesn’t exist, you may wanna take care of that thing yourself.” ~Mother P

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More Trouble from the Eastboro Baptistas!

To all Dimericans:

As you know, the Church of Dim and The Two Ricks podcast have been targeted by the most heinous, spiteful, dangerous, volatile, and frightening group of haters: Christians.  But not just any Christians, we are being harassed by the infamous Eastboro Baptist Church (picture below).

They hate us for our beliefs; they hate us for our unwavering faith; and they hate us because we only have 8% tithing and a kick-ass goddess, Mother Protozoa.  Sure she is just a microscopic, worm-like parasite, but she has a very sweet disposition.  She is also never judgmental and allows her followers to engage in unlimited debauchery.

We need your support now more than ever, so join us today.

Praise be the Amoeba.

The Church of Dim

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Party Like a Parasite!

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Hello Fellow Dimoebians!
So many of you have asked the restrictions The New Church of Dim puts on partying.  The answer to that would, of course, be… none.  In fact, partying is not only encouraged, but required under the as-of-now-unwritten 88 Commandments (praise be).  For every drink drunk, and every sticky smoked, we are closer than ever to our Holy Protozoa.  Perhaps even you will have a vision that will contribute to our growing new religion.  DOWN WITH PEOPLE – UP WITH AMOEBA!

Cleansed, yo

Prayed to the Holy Amoeba today – totally forgave every sin I’ve ever committed.  That’s a pretty sweet deal – no guilt, no regrets, just do whatever you want and then ask for forgiveness.  No wonder that Christianity nonsense took off so quickly.

Brb – off to do something morally questionable…