“Bacteria Religion Officially Endorses Presidential Candidate”

NBC News (31 May 2016) “Bacteria Religion Officially Endorses Presidential Candidate”

The now all-too-familiar Church of DIM, whose believers claim that humans have overstayed their welcome on Planet Earth and should begin devolution in earnest, have officially endorsed a presidential candidate: Donald Trump.  “We couldn’t be happier with our choice of presidential candidates this election,” Brother O’Brien of the CoD stated, “but in the end Donald Trump was the very easy choice; he is ignorant, inept at anything other than filing for bankruptcy, and has a childlike ego which drives him to make terrible, terrible decisions. It is with Trump at the helm that we believe that the world will dissolve into a Mad Maxian dystopia, and we at the CoD just couldn’t be more tickled.”  The Trump campaign still has not rejected the endorsement, but did state that the CoD’s campaign slogan for Trump, “Vote for the Degenerate!” was a bit troubling, but not entirely inaccurate.

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