“DIM Open Slap Day!” by Brother O’Brien

“DIM Open Slap Day” (June 16th) – We don’t condone violence at the Church of DIM as there is more than enough to enjoy in everyday life, but once a year we like to make a small exception, and today is that day, fellow Dimmers!  Cut off in traffic?  Person in front of you in line talking in outside voice on the phone with no regard for others?  Stranger says something jaw-droppingly ignorant with conviction?  Open slaps.  Right in their stupid faces.  Either they will consider your reaction and decide to change their behavior or, more likely, they will just be angry – but hey, either way, you still get the thrill of open-slapping an idiot in the face.  Right in their stupid, stupid faces. Slap. With your hand. Opened. Open slap.  As always, if someone objects to something as innocuous as an open slap to the face, claim religious persecution. And slap them again.

—Brother O’Brien


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