“DIM News!”

New York Times: “Church of DIM Given Approval by Pope” (14 May 2016)

The CoD’s uptick in joining followers shows no signs of
slowing as it has a new endorser: Christy Pope. Pope, a waitress at a
short-order diner in Tenino, Washington, fully endorsed the religion
that prays to single-celled organisms and believes that humans have
screwed up the world. “I dunno, I mean yeah, people suck. What is the
15% tip on a bill of $29.42? If you guessed 58 cents, then you are
just as douchey as the guys who just left. I can totally get on board
with a religion that think humans are arrogant trash. Sign me up.”
The leader of the church, Richard F. Yates, is scheduled to meet Pope
soon to welcome her into the fold. Yates said, “We are honored to
have another filthy human join our coalition, and the fact that her
membership means free waffles and milkshakes is just a bonus. The best
part is, 15% of ‘free’ means we don’t have to tip her either! Praise
Mother Amoeba and pass the syrup!” For those interested, the Church
of DIM’s website can be found here:
https://thenewchurchofdim.wordpress.com.

Advertisements

One thought on ““DIM News!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s