The New Church of Dim does not believe in a “soul” for humans (except, perhaps, in a metaphorical sense, in which case “selling your soul” would mean “doing something REALLY shitty.”) The New C.o.D. does, however, believe in a literal, physical afterlife—for which we are now selling tickets!
Extremely fancy “box seats” for the event are still available. Credit and debit cards accepted. No limit on the number of tickets that you can buy at a time. Make sure to get enough for your whole family! Don’t want Grandma Mabel or Uncle Owen sitting outside The Afterlife when the party gets started!
The END is coming soon, and what happens AFTER the end is going to be quite a show. Don’t miss it! Buy those tickets TODAY (before it’s too late!)
P.S. – No refunds.