We have just been informed that an “alternative news source,” The Henpeck Observer, has posted false claims that The New Church of Dim is under federal investigation for several legal violations. This is, of course, not only slanderous, but patently ridiculous. Fear not,
Dimmers, we have not gone to the dark side of the Petri-dish. Mr. Centipede, and his nasty little publication, are full of human bologna! Keep the Protozoan Faith!